Assassin Small Talk

An overheard conversation between a pair of assassins in the sewers

Jim “Did you hear about that job I did on that Merchant Baldranon”

Dan “What the kill in Market Row?”

Jim “Yeah, well funny story actually. Some noble hired me to scare him, you know the whole failed assassination attempt, keep him looking over his shoulder. So there I am, up on the roof and I look down and see the greedy merchant bragging to some nobles about how rich he is (insert random bad impressions). I’m lining my shot up, right between his legs. Close enough to rip his pants but not so close he can’t still knock out some more bastards. I squeeze the trigger just as he’s opening his mouth to start another sentence. I’m thinking to myself this is going to scare the pants right off him, well whats left of them. But then he suddenly does something strange. He reaches up and grabs his nose.”

Dan “His nose?”

Jim”Closes his eyes.”

Dan “What he sneezes?”

Jim Excited “Yeah so as the bolt is hurtling towards his nethers he suddenly jerks forward. BAMM right in the back of the head.”

Laughter from both.

Jim”So I’m thinking to myself damn I’m getting ripped off here the nobles only paying me enough for a scare not a kill.” Chuckles. ”But wait, wait that’s not the best part. He was doing that thing, you know where you try to stifle a sneeze by holding your nose and closing off your mouth? So everyone sees him do that then Bamm the back of his head explodes.”

More laughter.

Jim “Lady Denethorn still thinks that it was the sneeze that killed him. If you saw the look in her eyes each time she feels one coming on, whew.”

Dan “Priceless.”

Assassin Small Talk

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